Quick update

Hi all,

Here it is the day before Halloween -- can't believe how quickly October has flown by and that it's almost November! We are enjoying the cooler weather, beautiful changing leaves, and the fireplaces in our new home. We enjoyed a great weekend away in Boston this past weekend -- J's first time there -- and were lucky enough to make it back home before Sandy struck despite what I hear were over 7,000 canceled flights nationwide (and MANY flights out of Boston were canceled -- not sure how we lucked out!). We fared well in the storm, only losing power for about 40 seconds on Monday night and, sadly, a beautiful blue spruce in our backyard. All in all, not too bad.

I've been pretty silent on all of the fertility stuff for the last couple weeks because nothing much has been happening. We are back in the dreaded "two week wait" part of the cycle, which means that I've ovulated for this cycle and now we're just waiting for time to pass before I can take a pregnancy test and find out whether or not we were successful this time around. Lovenox shots started again on Saturday, so today was my fourth. So far, no bruises! A couple of things we're doing differently this time:

• I've started back to acupuncture at Dr. Braverman's recommendation. I was doing acupuncture regularly through the summer and actually think it might be pretty powerful in terms of helping us conceive -- during the months I was doing it regularly, I got pregnant in back-to-back cycles, even cycles where we really didn't think it would happen. Both times we're NOT gotten pregnant have been cycles where I wasn't doing acupuncture. So, back to the needles I go. I actually really like it and find it pretty relaxing. I have a great acupuncturist who specializes in fertility issues and I feel really confident that she knows what she's doing and is helping me.
• Since I did an intralipid infusion right after ovulation last cycle, I don't have to do it this cycle unless I get pregnant. So, while I thought I'd be on the couch with an IV one day this week, I get a reprieve. If I do get pregnant, then we'll need to do one right away, so hopefully I'll be back on that IV late next week or early the week after.

J is still taking all of his antioxidant supplements and I'm on my restricted diet, it's been a little over a month now. To be honest, it's pretty difficult -- especially when traveling -- but I'm making it work. Have found some tasty alternatives to many staple foods, and cravings for bread are getting less intense (I'm not gonna lie, I REALLY wanted to eat pasta when we were in the North End in Boston... sigh). We're hanging in! Thanks, as always, for your positive thoughts and prayers -- we really appreciate them all!!

No luck this month

This week was the end of our first immune treatment cycle, and we were scheduled to test on Thursday 10/11 to see if I was pregnant. Of course, I didn't hold out until Thursday and started testing on Tuesday, but all tests were indisputably negative. It was kind of a weird experience because I really felt pregnant and was really thinking we were going to see a second pretty pink line on the test strip. The fact that Monday was Ziggy's due date didn't make the week any easier, as I kept thinking that in the alternate reality where I never had a miscarriage, I'd probably be bringing a baby home this week. Luckily I did get a decent amount of snuggle time in with the other fabulous babies in my life (Parker, Isla, and Lyla). As good as that feels and as much as I love it, it does little to quell the deep desire for a little one to call my own. My heart aches for a baby.

So, now it's on to cycle #2. I have a couple of ideas for changes to make this time around, most notably that I will be going back to acupuncture. I realized that when I was doing acupuncture regularly (with a stellar acupuncturist who specializes in women's fertility issues), I got pregnant every cycle. So maybe that is what we need to put us over the edge and get a positive that sticks this month. So I have an appointment set up this week.

In other news, I'm off to Florida on Thursday for a quick conference presentation Friday morning and a chance to hang out with one of my favorite fellow scholars for ~27 hours. Then next week it's Boston for another quick talk at NSGC and a weekend escape with J. Looking forward to a couple little getaways, both physically and mentally. It also helps that I get to take a two-week break from the Lovenox injections -- my belly will appreciate that.

Four Days In

All is going according to plan -- I am now on Day 4 of Lovenox injections and today I had my first intralipid infusion.

The Lovenox injections are not super awesome but they're not totally terrible, either. The needle is super tiny and it needs to be injected into the subcutaneous layer on my abdomen. J has done the injection for me 3 days and this morning I did it myself. The stuff burns going in and then burns for about 5 minutes afterward. I've read that bruising is normal... but still getting used to seeing this on my body when I look in the mirror:

This is from the Day 2 injection, and none of the others have been nearly that bad. Luckily, it looks worse than it feels. The little red spot at the top is where the needle went in.

The intralipid infusion was definitely not a great way to spend a day. They send a nurse to our house, and she was very nice and professional. It took a while to find a vein, apparently I was a little bit dehydrated. So that made it a little bit painful to place the needle and she had to stick me multiple times. We finally got it in around my left elbow, and then it takes about 3 hours for it to infuse. I'm hooked up to a pump during the infusion, which I can carry around with me. Since it was right at my elbow I couldn't really move my arm very much, so I pretty much spent the whole time on the couch. This was my view:

It went alright except that my blood pressure (which is on the low side to begin with) dropped pretty low about 2 hours in, to the point where I was having a hard time staying awake. I was glad when it was over.

J is doing a great job of taking care of me through all of this. We are really hoping that this cycle is successful so that we don't have to start all of this over next month... but we also realize that that might be what happens, and we will deal with it as it comes.